Eating out with food restrictions

“I’d like to order the pasta with the meat sauce with no cheese on top, but if the sauce has dairy in it, I’ll try the eggplant sandwich with no cheese with the side of soup as long as the sauce or the soup have no dairy. If the soup has dairy, I’ll take the salad as long as it has leefy greens and no iceberg lettuce.” 

Needless to say, I usually avoid Italian restaurants.